Dallas Church Offers Free Weddings to Couples Living Together, on One Condition
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Most women at the start of our premarital counseling group were like, What? Mr. Evans said of the idea of not being the sole bride. But as we got into the class, we got to know each other intimately. The gloves came off. And being able to share the wedding together made it really special.
To date, no same-sex couples have volunteered for the challenge. If they did, Mr. Carter said, he would refer them to a different church to be married. Though Concord welcomes the L.G.B.T.Q. community, he said, our church believes in more traditional model of marriage.
This is one reason some religious leaders are not so enthusiastic about Mr. Carters program. Research bears the pastor out that stable marriages do support better mental health and stability in children, said Janne Eller-Isaacs, a senior co-pastor at Unity Church-Unitarian in St. Paul, Minn. My bias is that I dont want to be promoting an old-style, patriarchal marriage. As someone who has married lesbians, gays and transgendered folks, making the ritual of marriage available to all people is extremely important to me.
Rabbi Matthew D. Gewirtz, the senior pastor at Congregation Bnai Jeshurun in Short Hills, N.J., also has mixed feelings about the marriage challenge. Im not going to reject it out of hand, because the pastor respects God and community and may believe hes saving the world in this way, he said. Ive learned enough to know that cohabitation has helped a lot of people, and I lose all capital to be able to talk to people about what makes the most sacred and loving connections if Im just reminding them of what they thought religion always was, meaning hierarchical and judgmental and not in touch with whats going on in the world.
Rabbi Gewirtz also wonders if the churchs resources might be better spent feeding the hungry or housing the homeless. But thats just a different point of view, he said.
It is a view Mr. Carter is familiar with. His Twitter announcement of this years challenge reached 300,000 people, he said, and most feedback was positive. But we had a few detractors who said, Why would the church be concerned about someones relationship? Couldnt it do more with that money to feed people? he said.